When I was in high school and college, I had one of those guys who came in and out of my life. I'd say were were dating, but that's probably too strong of a word. We always enjoyed being together, but we never seemed to reach a point where we would concentrate on each other. Other things, other people, they were always there. And, in the end, it was fine. But if you had asked me, I would've said that he set the tone, that he was in control of the relationship.
But last week, I found an old letter, the only letter he had ever sent me. I'm not sure of the timing of the letter except that he was away at college when he sent it. And this letter had the following passage: "I would really appreciate a letter from you. You're never at a loss for something interesting to say. Please give me some indication as to what's going on in that active mind of yours. It's been a rather unsettling silence on this end. I may not be deserving, but I'll let you decide."
I was really shocked, reading this after all these years. I must have read this, all those years ago, but I still felt that he was in charge of the relationship. A letter like this, rediscovered after all this time, makes me question a lot of things. What else do I misremember? What else is different in my mind? What, exactly, happened between us? I am wondering about my memories.
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