Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Crippled inside

I feel fragile this days. I feel like I am stumbling and I can't get it together. I feel like I make the wrong choices and I can't follow my own instincts. This happens. I go through these phases. But today feels hard.

I always want people to think I'm tough, that I have a thick skin. But I get upset too easily. I try to act like a roll with the punches, but I feel jarred when things go the wrong way. I cry too easily.

Maybe it's not that I don't want anyone to know. Maybe it's that I'm afraid that if someone knows, they still won't care.

3 comments:

Vaguery said...

It's going around. Drink lots. Of fluids. Sleep extra. We'll be here, and you'll be fine. [traditional huggie emoticon]

Geoff Schutt said...

You can be fragile and tough at the same time -- think of it as a survivor who is also vulnerable, and "not afraid" to say so. The vulnerability gives you your humanity, your generous heart, your ability to love, and yes, to be loved in return. Some days are brutal. But there's always a "next" day, and that next day is brand new.

TLM0000 said...

I just noticed today that I hadn't read any of my RSS feeds in weeks so I came over to catch up and reading this reminds me why I have felt an affinity with you.
I dislike the fragile feeling and I tend to stuff it way way down (healthy isn't it?) until it goes away.
I hope you are able to find yourself accepting it and letting other people help you. Sometimes it's very hard to trust that other people won't take advantage of you in a vulnerable state but I think just maybe you've gotten to the point that you can. You are an amazing person.