Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I don't want you to know how weak I am


Confession time. Lately, I have been feeling incredibly overwhelmed. The job, the move, getting the house ready to sell, the weather, it's all been crashing in on me the past few days. I feel like I am on the edge of crying all the time. The worst thing is that I am so afraid that if I start crying, I just may never stop.

I hate this. I hate feeling weak. I hate not being the strong person who can handle it all. I hate that I want to cry on someone's shoulder, but I don't want to ask anyone to be that person. I hate being that girl who cries, and I hate the idea of you seeing me cry.

I want to be tough. I don't want you to see that I am struggling. I'm okay, here on my own. I'll figure it out. I don't need you to help me. I don't understand why I am so obsessed with not depending on anyone, but there it is. 

"The trick is not to mind it."

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