Sunday, January 25, 2009

If you try sometimes


I am afraid of asking for help. I'm not sure where it comes from. I know that a part of it comes from not wanting to appear weak. I don't want to be girly. I want to be able to hold my own and asking for help makes me feel like I can't do it.

I think the biggest reason I don't ask for help is that I am afraid I will not get it. That when I want a hand, that hand won't be there for me. It's kind of a horrible thing to be afraid of, that the people you love and care about won't be there for you.

Today I asked Mr. HP for something. I want him to come down a day early next weekend. It shouldn't be a big deal. Yet, when I asked, I practically started crying. And when he said that he would, I almost cried with relief.

Maybe I need to ask for help. Once in a while.

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